What if we already have the things we’re looking for?

On being astonished

“It is an astonishment to be alive, and it behoves you to be astonished.”

— Katherine Rundell, paraphrasing poet John Donne

I’m always struck by the experience of one day being in a life slump, a spiral of worry, or a tangled web, and the next finding yourself astonished by life.

It happened the other day—I was waiting for the pedestrian lights to change, the sun was on my face, and suddenly it felt like I was greeting life anew.

Thinking about what might have inspired the shift, I realise now I was choosing to be in the day, rather than another day in the past or future.

Instead of ruminating on a lucrative opportunity I missed a few years ago, or worrying about something like the balance of my retirement fund, I took the feeling of astonishment all the way to the supermarket and realised I already have so many components of the life I’m saving up for. 

I’m wandering the aisles of an adorable grocery store in an adorable neighbourhood, completely unhurried and unencumbered, and I’m adding …