I really loved the way you articulated this: "When we share our fears, we can begin to dismantle our shame, and transform the experience." I think this is true in a one-on-one setting, and I also think it describes why a lot of us write!
I’m 54 and finally getting it. You could say I’m a late bloomer. In that case you are an early adopter. So young and so full of clear thoughts. Thank you.
This is timely. I spend a great deal of time on my own due to chronic pain and mental health difficulties. I used to be the common clichéd 'life & soul of the party' but have since learned it was survival masking. It was exhausting, anyway. These days I only feel truly lonely if I allow myself to believe that those on social media are having a consistently good time surrounded by other people; because what happens once the image has been captured?
Thank you for this, and for your considered deep-dive into freedom and solitude. I will begin to reframe my lonely moments.
Comparison plays a starring role, doesn't it? And as you point to, so much of it is smoke and mirrors. Realising that helps bring me back to what I want, or appreciate what is. Thanks for sharing your experience Debs and bringing forward more to ponder! x
The way you write speaks to me in such a soft and gentle way reminding myself that it's okay to be lonely. I recently moved to another country and finding friends can be difficult for me as it doesn't come naturally when you're in your 30's. I never had the energy to actively seek people just for companionship because I find it draining, but I have been giving myself a hard time knowing it's part of getting to know someone. In result, I would blame myself why I feel lonely. Thank you for your talent and wisdom to touch people's souls through words.
I'm so glad you found this piece Gwen, and it could offer you some comfort! I think our solitude and our social lives have different seasons — so here's to being kind and graceful to ourselves during each of them ❤️
I love everything that you write Madeleine, but this piece particularly resonated. So much helpful goodness, especially the point about choosing to reframe loneliness as freedom. You are so good at reframing, I need to get better at this. Thank you for your wise and beautiful worlds 💛
Ohh thank you for this frame of 'reframing' — I hadn't quite connected the dots of my own writing in that way. Perhaps that's your very strength! Glad the words found you at the right time Kate x
So much truth in this. Thank you. Loved the saying that loneliness is the "state of being alone and feeling sad about it." I am coming to terms with accepting the huge sadness of the loss of my darling husband of many years, but I can also find the contentment of being alone. You phrased it all so well.
My condolences to you, Liza. I don't know we do with those absences, but I do believe in the contentment we find in aloneness as well as the many types of company we can find. Glad the phrasing resonated for you x
Thank you. The loss is enormous. It's been 14 months now, and some days it is still just heart breaking. But I am determined to live on in the best way I can. I have great friends who are very supportive, but sometimes I just need to be alone. And sometimes the sadness I feel is replaced with a feeling of contentment as I Iearn to be me, on my own, without my "rock" to lean on. It's hard, but every day I count my blessings.
I can only imagine. What very human, hard and expanding things you're encountering. I hope it's not cringe to share a poem in reply, but your description made me think of Grief's Familiar Rooms by Sean Thomas Dougherty:
I'd love to know the answer to that first footnote!
I recently heard Jay Shetty, I think it was, talking about the fact that we don't use the word solitude enough - and it is being alone from a place of strength really, rather than its kind of opposite - loneliness. This was a really interesting read after hearing that too.
Oh I like that frame for solitude — it is absolutely strengthening, and something to practice for that very reason. I'm going to see such moments as 'weightlifting' for the soul now — thanks for sharing Jess x
I really loved the way you articulated this: "When we share our fears, we can begin to dismantle our shame, and transform the experience." I think this is true in a one-on-one setting, and I also think it describes why a lot of us write!
Agree on on the writing front — be it private journaling or published, I think sharing comes in so many forms. Thanks for reading Rae ❤️
I’m 54 and finally getting it. You could say I’m a late bloomer. In that case you are an early adopter. So young and so full of clear thoughts. Thank you.
That's very kind, Jonas! Many of the thoughts serve as reminders to help myself 'get it' so I love that we're all still blooming x
This is timely. I spend a great deal of time on my own due to chronic pain and mental health difficulties. I used to be the common clichéd 'life & soul of the party' but have since learned it was survival masking. It was exhausting, anyway. These days I only feel truly lonely if I allow myself to believe that those on social media are having a consistently good time surrounded by other people; because what happens once the image has been captured?
Thank you for this, and for your considered deep-dive into freedom and solitude. I will begin to reframe my lonely moments.
Comparison plays a starring role, doesn't it? And as you point to, so much of it is smoke and mirrors. Realising that helps bring me back to what I want, or appreciate what is. Thanks for sharing your experience Debs and bringing forward more to ponder! x
Needed to read this today! Thankyou 🙏
Thanks for reading x
Love love love this! A good reminder for me to stop trying to ‘fill’ me alone time but rather to seek ‘fulfillment’ in it. Thank you.
Glad you found a helpful reminder! ❤️
The way you write speaks to me in such a soft and gentle way reminding myself that it's okay to be lonely. I recently moved to another country and finding friends can be difficult for me as it doesn't come naturally when you're in your 30's. I never had the energy to actively seek people just for companionship because I find it draining, but I have been giving myself a hard time knowing it's part of getting to know someone. In result, I would blame myself why I feel lonely. Thank you for your talent and wisdom to touch people's souls through words.
I'm so glad you found this piece Gwen, and it could offer you some comfort! I think our solitude and our social lives have different seasons — so here's to being kind and graceful to ourselves during each of them ❤️
I love everything that you write Madeleine, but this piece particularly resonated. So much helpful goodness, especially the point about choosing to reframe loneliness as freedom. You are so good at reframing, I need to get better at this. Thank you for your wise and beautiful worlds 💛
Ohh thank you for this frame of 'reframing' — I hadn't quite connected the dots of my own writing in that way. Perhaps that's your very strength! Glad the words found you at the right time Kate x
Loved your text!
So much truth in this. Thank you. Loved the saying that loneliness is the "state of being alone and feeling sad about it." I am coming to terms with accepting the huge sadness of the loss of my darling husband of many years, but I can also find the contentment of being alone. You phrased it all so well.
My condolences to you, Liza. I don't know we do with those absences, but I do believe in the contentment we find in aloneness as well as the many types of company we can find. Glad the phrasing resonated for you x
Thank you. The loss is enormous. It's been 14 months now, and some days it is still just heart breaking. But I am determined to live on in the best way I can. I have great friends who are very supportive, but sometimes I just need to be alone. And sometimes the sadness I feel is replaced with a feeling of contentment as I Iearn to be me, on my own, without my "rock" to lean on. It's hard, but every day I count my blessings.
I can only imagine. What very human, hard and expanding things you're encountering. I hope it's not cringe to share a poem in reply, but your description made me think of Grief's Familiar Rooms by Sean Thomas Dougherty:
Sometimes I am ok
even though when I come home
from work,
I still sit in your chair for hours
without taking my coat off
pulling at its buttons
that are not answers—
Perfect! Thank you.💕
This was a wonderful read, thank you for writing it!
I'd love to know the answer to that first footnote!
I recently heard Jay Shetty, I think it was, talking about the fact that we don't use the word solitude enough - and it is being alone from a place of strength really, rather than its kind of opposite - loneliness. This was a really interesting read after hearing that too.
Oh I like that frame for solitude — it is absolutely strengthening, and something to practice for that very reason. I'm going to see such moments as 'weightlifting' for the soul now — thanks for sharing Jess x
No problem - love that 'weightlifting for the soul' too! Thanks! x
This is a great piece ✨
Oh the timing of this wonderful piece! Thank you for creating and sharing!
So true and affirming to read. Thank you for this.
❤️
oh, i loved this ❤️
❤️