Things take the time they take

Why you can’t learn a lesson until you learn it

Have you ever had a penny-drop moment only to wonder what took you so long?

Recently, I've had the pleasurable experience of seeing someone romantically and feeling comfortable and respected.

Two seemingly obvious things, I know.

Yet, looking back, it’s perhaps surprising to notice how easily I’ve overlooked those basic components over years of dating.

I knew—intellectually—that what’s important is not a checklist of attributes someone might tick, but rather how I felt in their presence. I knew I should pay attention to whether there was a match in values above all: thoughtfulness, curiosity, honesty.

I’d even pontificate and hand out advice to others about how values are the most important thing, but I didn’t really know it, know it.

Now I do.