Things I’ve learned about paying too much

On overgiving and knowing yourself

If there were ever a cautionary tale about overgiving, it would be The Devoted Friend by Oscar Wilde.

The story within a story follows the interactions between a poor fellow named Hans, who lives modestly in a tiny cottage all by himself and works in his garden, and a rich miller named Hugh. The miller would pontificate about being the most devoted friend to Hans, and his way of showing it would be to always pluck a flower from his friend’s garden when he visited in the finer months. Sometimes, the neighbours wondered why the rich miller never gave anything in return for the flowers, but Hans never seemed all that troubled—he simply enjoyed listening to what the miller had to say about the unselfishness of true friendship.

When the winter descends, Hans suffers greatly from cold, hunger and loneliness as the miller, his most devoted friend, never comes to see him. In the words of the miller, "There is no good in my going to see little Hans as long as the snow lasts, for when people are …