When the thing that was meant to change your life doesn’t change your life

Notes on subtle transformation

There are certain things we are set-up to believe will change our lives. When we finally get the dream job, when we take that trip we’ve always wanted, when we met our significant other.

But what happens when we do these life-changing things and find our lives unchanged?

I was reflecting on a trip I took to Italy last year. Just before leaving, I’d lost count of how many times I was jokingly told it would be my Under the Tuscan Sun or Eat, or Pray Love experience. There would be life-changing food and life-changing love affairs and life-changing inspiration that would no doubt become a best-selling novel with a film adaptation.

Part of me knew that we take ourselves wherever we go, but another part of me started to believe the hype. Yet when the trip was over, even with the delicious food, love affairs and inspiring vistas, I had this distinct unchanged feeling.

You are just you, again

A similar unchanged feeling came with publishing my first book. I thought being a published author would…