Things for knowing what you want

A collection of questions and notes to help cut out the noise

We are constantly telling ourselves we should do things, but rarely do we ask if we want to do them.

I remember being in a carpool with someone after we had just completed our first ten-kilometre fun run. We were both exhausted, and as we buckled our seatbelts the driver announced she was going to put on a podcast because she didn’t have the energy for chatting. I was so relieved—I didn’t have the energy for chatting either—but would have felt obliged to out of politeness. By stating her desire, plain and simple, the driver saved us both from half-hearted prattle. It was a small act of boldness, and, the more I think about it, an act of kindness too.

It struck me that I am often so tangled up in satisfying what I think others might want, or predicting their reaction to my wants, that I can easily lose sight of what it is I actually want.

The tangle isn’t solely of my own making. Many of us have long been taught to want things separate from us—material things, success, accolades, certain…