Creating the thing you want
Lessons from Friend Soup, a poem, and daily things
Last week, I relaunched my project A social life, with friends by sharing a simple recipe.
It’s called Friend Soup—an approach for finding momentum in new friendships by bringing everyone together to bob about in a delicious broth of connection and conversation.
It struck me that the steps I took to come up with the concept can be applied to various aspects of our lives.
Be it our careers, creative pursuits, or habits, I think the following can provide a great foundation to help build momentum or find variety:
1. Create the thing you want
If you long for something, create it. Many of the things I cherish most are a direct result of implementing this philosophy—my independent writing career, my friendships, my fondest memories. You don’t have to wait for the invitation or for someone else to offer you the opportunity to begin.
2. Start with what you already have
It’s one thing to figure out what you want to create, but another thing to start.
This is where limitations can actually work in your favour. When we begin with what we have at hand, it narrows the focus. What do you already have available to you? Who can you reach out to? What next step can you take? How can you make that very step even smaller, less daunting, more doable?
3. Repeat
Be it our social lives, work or habits, momentum is found in repetition. This isn’t to say you have to follow a strict daily discipline, but when we do things sincerely and regularly, we build skills expand curiosity, and deepen our attention.
Read the full essay:
“If you inherently long for something, become it first. If you want gardens, become the gardener. If you want love, embody love. If you want mental stimulation, change the conversation. If you want peace, exude calmness. If you want to fill your world with artists, begin to paint. If you want to be valued, respect your own time. If you want to live ecstatically, find the ecstasy within yourself. This is how to draw it in, day by day, inch by inch.”
— Victoria Erickson
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